I don’t wait around for the government to heal me. I do it myself.

You always thought that concrete that got cracked just sat around feeling sorry for itself, applying for Social Security. But that’s the old concrete paradigm. The new one involves a bio-concrete blend with built-in bacteria, and it is not lazy and shiftless like other concrete. It can cure itself. I know that there have been amazing scientific advances in history like a vaccine for polio and men on the moon and Geena Davis having a baby when she was about 75 years old, but wow, self-fixing concrete might be just about the coolest thing I have ever heard of.

The concrete’s Super Regenerating Action is activated by water. It’s seeded with bacteria and calcium lactate, which bacteria can eat, formed into little pellets that come alive when water hits them. (Water is generally a foe of concrete, as it can seep inside it and wear it down, so if water is present it’s time for the bacterial repairmen to spring into action.) The bacteria, which are special bacteria from Russia, digest the calcium lactate into calcite, the main component of limestone.

Wow. That is neato. We want to get some of this stuff and put cracks in it and just sit around watching it fix itself. Sure beats working.

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