These five new types of darter have now been recognized as distinct species for the first time, which means scientists get to name them — and these particular scientists seem to have indulged in some Democratic fanboyism. Or, hmm … they’re flashy, cold-blooded, and practically indistinguishable from one another. Maybe it’s not fanboyism after all.
No, just kidding, it totally is, because these fish’s namesakes — Presidents Barack Obama, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Teddy Roosevelt, and alternate-universe President Al Gore — are all big supporters of wildlife and the environment.
The spangled darter, above, is now Etheostoma obama, because it was secretly born in Kenya.
Here’s Al Gore’s fish — the Cumberland darter, or Etheostoma gore. Yes, it looks basically exactly like E. obama, but it is slightly less popular in Florida.
If I make a joke about swimming rabbits chasing this Etheostoma jimmycarter, or bluegrass darter, will anyone get it? Am I all alone here?
Etheostoma clinton, the beaded darter, has the most esoteric sexual habits of the new species. (I’m not proud of that joke but it had to be made.)
Head over to Buzzfeed to meet the Teddy Roosevelt darter and get a little more non-made-up information about each fish and its respective president.