(Third in a series; first part here, second part here.)
Fear and anger can be invigorating, even intoxicating. It's worth thinking about why.
For all too many men -- and let's face it, the vast majority of violence, personal and political, originates with men -- the strong, stoic, squinty ideal of masculinity means that whole ranges of emotional experience simply go unacknowledged, unnamed, and unprocessed.
Some boys are purposefully taught to be ashamed of any hint of vulnerability. They're taught that empathy is a sign of weakness. Their affect is actively suppressed. This comes from repressed, repressive fathers who themselves had repressed, repressive fathers, and so on back through a genealogy of domination and displacement.
More commonly, though, boys simply aren't taught or encouraged to discuss their feelings. Even well-meaning parents can buy into the myth that boys aren't as "sensitive" as girls, and of course this myth is encouraged in a thousand ways by our culture. (When I found out I was having a boy, I read a ton of material on this stuff. See, e.g., Real Boys by William Pollack.)
By commission or omission, the result is the same: emotional illiteracy.