Naturally it’s very resourceful that U.K.-based designer Orsola de Castro makes “upcycled” dresses out of old Speedo bathing suits. After all, what else are we going to do with old Speedos? Make an oversized soft sculpture of Michael Phelps’ favorite bong?

And maybe if you are the sort of person who a) looks good in everything and b) doesn’t mind wearing a gown made of cloth that once delicately cupped a stranger’s balls, you could buy one of these and love it. But there are a few barriers to these becoming the next fashion sensation. I mean, some of these dresses still have the word Speedo on them. Pulling off the Lycra is its own battle; pulling off the Lycra and the word Speedo seems like a lot to ask.

Maybe some celebrity with the genetic ability to wear Lycra in public will make Speedo dresses her thing, and then all the fashionistas will scramble for them. My money is on Hayden Panettiere.

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