Some giraffes are just regular giraffes. They eat leaves and hang around having long necks. But Armstrong Baillie, 32, of Dundee, Scotland, is not a regular giraffe. First of all, he's not a giraffe. He's a person in a giraffe costume. And then there's the fact that he goes all around Scotland -- he's been seen all over the country, Dundee, Glasgow, Edinburgh -- doing good deeds.

As Baillie (who calls himself, appropriately, The Good Giraffe) told the BBC, "It makes me happy when I see the difference in people when they see me in the suit. It makes them happy and it makes me feel cheery. The reason I picked a giraffe is that I have always been interested in animals and giraffes are my favorite animal. Giraffes are like me, as my head is in the clouds but my heart is in the right place."

All we can say about this one is that it was bound to happen eventually: The fur of a yeti has reportedly been found in a Siberian cave. So when frighted Siberian children ask their parents, "Mom and Dad, are yetis real?" their parents will be obliged to say, "Fuck yeah they are. You know how we know? A bunch of people who are really obsessed with yetis found some yeti fur in a cave. Now go to sleep."

(Before proceeding, I'm obliged to point out that the Moscow Times news item on which this article is based meanders, contradicts itself, and at times, makes little sense. Reading it, I paused often to ask myself, "Wait, was this thing written by a yeti?" Which, of course, would be incontrovertible proof that yetis exist.)

A cup of coffee has about 100 milligrams of caffeine. A two-ounce shot of 5-hour Energy has about 250 milligrams of caffeine. We're certainly not going to say definitively that 5-hour Energy is the cause of the 13 deaths it's been cited for over the last four years. But we will say that that is an awful lot of caffeine.

Everyone thinks pigeons and rats are so gross. And they are. But here's what they don't do: Charge at you. Dig massive holes in the ground. Snort. Which is why, as the next 10 years elapse and wild pigs become the biggest pest in our nation's capital, Washingtonians will look upon the days when all they had to worry about were pigeons and rats as a paradise of happiness.

I have been wanting to alter my rather closed-minded opinion that Japanese culture is really weird, but I guess I'm going to have to say sayonara to that idea, at least for today -- because a Japanese textile company has invented underwear that promises to absorb unwanted body odors. And although the goal here is to make air quality all over the globe more pleasant, well, I just can't help being more grossed out than I have ever been in my whole life. Is that wrong?

Have you always wanted to live off the land, but you were burdened with an overfull trust fund and too many butlers? Well, say hello to Williams-Sonoma Agrarian, your portal for spending gazillions of dollars on backyard farming.

With Williams-Sonoma Agrarian people can seriously DIY the shit out of their lives. They can out-Laura Ingalls Laura Ingalls. They can keep bees (in a $500 hive). They can raise chickens (in a $1,300 coop).  They can plant raised vegetable beds (in a $250 vintage bathtub). They can can shit and preserve shit. None of these things are bad, taken on a case-by-case basis, and we know very nice people who do this stuff. But Williams-Sonoma wants you to pay A LOT of money for the privilege of doing things from scratch.

So, the Budweiser Corporation is putting water in cans. Wait. Why is that new? Doesn't it already put water in cans? Ha, ha. That's very funny. I'm sure it's never heard any jokes before from microbrew-obsessed America about the fact that its beer sucks. But this time, it really is water, to help Hurricane Sandy victims whose drinking water isn't safe.

You have heard about antibiotic resistance? Well, if you haven't, let me make it real simple for you to understand: We have pumped so many antibiotics into ourselves and into animals that our drugs aren't as effective as they used to be. The bacteria that these drugs were supposed to kill have gotten wise to their tricks. FDA research shows that livestock use is a factor in increasing drug resistance in disease germs, because people give livestock a TON of antibiotics -- over 80 percent of antibiotics in the U.S. are given to farm animals. It's what we historically have referred to as a giant fucking mess.

It's not really an orgy, because the flamingos aren't having sex with each other randomly -- just with their mates -- and no one is doing blow or drinking champagne out of anyone's butt. But when hundreds of thousands of lesser (this is just a type, not a judgement) flamingos descend on Tanzania's Lake Natron in a few weeks, it will perhaps be the greatest flamingo breeding event since 2007. I have no idea what happened in 2007, but since the BBC mentioned it, let's just assume it was a big deal. 2007: Flamingos screwing in droves. 2012: About to screw even more hardcore.

You probably would rather not think about the fact that Hurricane Sandy created a lot of sewage problems. Well, you're lucky you don't have to, because there are people whose job it is to do that. And they have satellites that allow them to get a sense of ... well, there's no way to say this nicely: how much raw sewage made it into our waterways as a result of the devastating storm.

You can't actually detect sewage from a satellite. Meaning it can't take a picture of water that would allow them to look at an image and deduce, oh, that part of the water? That has human waste in it. However, "you can find river discharge that you suspect has raw sewage,” Matthew Oliver, assistant professor of oceanography in the College of Earth, Ocean, and Environment at University of Delaware, said in a press release. “The reason why is because river discharge usually has a very different temperature and color than the surrounding waters.”