Sarah van Schagen

From Guzzlers to Greenlanders

Size does matter Fingering the Hummer H2 is so last year. The latest trend in Hummer humiliation? Video of die-hard haters humping the gas guzzlers. If a picture’s worth 1,000 words, this specimen is infinity squared. (Safe for work, but only if your boss has a sense of Hummer humor.) Photo: ihumpedyourhummer.com Damn those special effects Drought-stricken Brits have walloped Woody for being wasteful. Seems the angst king was using tap water as a stand-in for rain on the set of his next film. That’s crazy! It’s as if you used your ex-lover’s adopted daughter as a stand-in for a …

From Roberts to Redford

The Brockovich is back America’s sweetheart (back off, Witherspoon!) Julia Roberts has agreed to serve as a spokes-star for clean-energy developers Earth Biofuels, joining fellow Oscar winner Morgan Freeman and country singer Willie Nelson. We’re glad she’s green and all, but still, let’s hope she burned that unsettling sprite get-up from Vanity Fair. Photo: Kevin Mazur / WireImage.com Electric sticker shock Built for greens with a lotta green and wicked midlife crises, the electric Tesla Roadster is a sexy new rig with built-in satellite nav and an iPod dock. Sure, it goes from 0 to 60 in four seconds — …

From Hot to Hott

AC dicey Americans know what to do when it’s hotter than firecrotch out there: crank the AC and use more juice than ever before! We salute thee, supreme energy-suckers. Conservation be damned. Photo: iStockphoto. Drink. Lick. Stir. Repeat. Beat the heat with a chill “Lollipoptail” — so named when Cynthia Nixon dipped an organic Pomegranate Pucker sucker into her drink. Pass the vanilla vodka, Cyn. Not that we’re lushes or anything. What? We’re not. Photo: Larisa Shlahet. Bloody brilliant For this endless summer, swimming may be out, so how ’bout a spin on a solar-powered ferry instead? That’s how the …

Pearl Jam guitarist Stone Gossard chats about the band’s environmental ethos

Pearl Jam. Photo: Danny Clinch.  Stone Gossard, hard-rock guitarist and founding member of Pearl Jam, has a soft spot for the environment. Maybe it’s the water-meets-mountains scenery surrounding his Pacific Northwest home. Or that name of his. But the guy knows green. He’s even got his own pimped-out 1982 Mercedes Benz, which runs on used vegetable oil and “smells a little bit like a wonton.” Lately, though, Gossard’s been rollin’ in a biodiesel-fueled bus, touring the country to promote the band’s newest album, Pearl Jam. And he’s been using all that time on the bus to think about how, as …

From Wine to Wood

Nice jugs When winemaker Carlo Rossi looks at a pair of jugs, he sees art. His new furniture collection — or “functional pieces of pure jug leisure” — includes a Chardonnay Chandelier, a Cabernet Couch, and a Sangria Sound System. For this oenophile, it’s all about “jug shui.” Photo: carlorossi.com The “Greatest Generation” thing was a ruse This Sunday, beloved ex-anchor, reborn enviro, and total dreamboat Tom Brokaw is hosting a Discovery Channel special called Global Warming: What You Need to Know. But Sen. James Inhofe (R-Clowntown) will tell you what you really need to know: Brokaw’s a pinko commie …

A Long, Strange Triperoo: The backstage pass to my Bonnaroo story

Or, how I survived my first camping trip

Find out more about how Bonnaroo is going green. It was early afternoon on a Friday when I got the call. I had been wrangling commas and scanning The Superficial the news all morning when Grist kahuna maxima Chip Giller asked me if I would go to the Bonnaroo Arts & Music Festival in Tennessee to cover its efforts to eco-ize. This was exactly the kind of break I'd been waiting for. Giller wanted me -- me! -- to travel across the country and file a real story. My ego started to swell. Oh yeah, I said to myself. Giller knows that when he needs a real reporter who'll get the job done right, he comes straight to me the staff writer I share an office with. But when that guy can't go, whom does Giller turn to? Ya damn right. The boss interrupted my mental cheerleading with a serious question. "Are you sure you're up to the challenge?" he asked. Hellz yeah, I told him. After hanging up, I did a quick skills check. Talking to hot, sweaty musician-types about their eco-interests? Check. Hanging out in the beer tent eating funnel cake? I'll take seconds, thanks. Proudly flashing my all-access media pass in front of all the slobbering plebes? As long as it matched my outfit. Navigating airport security and surviving the middle seat on a transcontinental flight? Bring on the li'l bags of peanuts. Camping for four nights in the middle of summer in Tennessee? Um, what?

From Poop to Pod

Forest dump If you drop some logs in a national park and no restroom cleaners are around to hear it, does it make a sound? We’ll soon find out, as budget crunches are forcing cutbacks on park luxuries … like clean bathrooms. Said one pooper of a Yosemite restroom, “It looked like nothing had been done to it in the last 30 years.” Um, ew. Photo: iStockphoto. Who let the dogs out? Now we know why Joaquin Phoenix always looks so surly: he’s got his undies in a knot about animal rights. The actor is teaming up with PETA to …

Legendary music fest Bonnaroo urges fans to go green

Two’s company, 80,000’s a crowd. Photos: Sarah van Schagen.  For most of the year, this 700-acre farm in Manchester, Tenn., provides open, grassy pasture for a herd of cows. But for a short time each summer, the idyllic setting is taken over by a different kind of herd: the tens of thousands of fans who descend for the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival. The now-legendary event features long-haired musician-types, massive stages, sprawling campgrounds, and vendors hawking all manner of food and crafts. As Thom Yorke — the frontman for this year’s headliner, Radiohead — put it to the writhing masses …

From Iowa to I Owe Ya

Sometimes a basin is just a basin Personally, we don’t see anything unusual about the shape of this Des Moines, Iowa, water detention basin. Nope, not a thing. But apparently, some locals have started saying it looks like — well, you know. That’s bollocks! Photo: Polk County Assessor’s Office. It’s not that easy being red Say you’ve got a campaign to win — would a lime-green eco-bus get you there? Ahnold’s betting on it. “You don’t see that bus saying, ‘Vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger, Republican,'” says the Governator. Ouch. Photo: AP/Paul Sakuma. Book ‘em, diver Friday night, about to close …

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