It almost looks normal.
It almost looks normal.

Well THIS is creepy and insidious. Processed-crap peddlers McDonald’s, Kraft, and Dominos have realized eaters interpret perfect-looking food as artificial (you mean meat doesn’t naturally come packaged like Post-Its?), whereas slightly flawed or asymmetrical food reads as artisan and authentic. So what are they doing? Working harder to make their shitty food look like your scrappy neighborhood café made it:

When stretching out the dough for its premium “Artisan Pizzas,” Domino’s workers are instructed not to worry about making the rectangles too perfect: The pies are supposed to have a more rustic look.

At McDonald’s, the egg whites for the new breakfast sandwich called the Egg White Delight McMuffin have a loose shape rather than the round discs used in the original Egg McMuffin.

And Kraft Foods took more than two years to develop a process to make the thick, uneven slabs of turkey in its Carving Board line look like leftovers from a homemade meal rather than the cookie-cutter ovals typical of most lunchmeat.

Artfully ripped by a machine.
Artfully ripped by a machine.

And no, the food giants aren’t merely trying to get on board with a new culinary trend; they’re effing with your perception to try to make you forget their food is so unnatural. At least that’s what public health lawyer and author Michele Simon told the Associated Press:

They can’t change the fact that they’re making processed products so they have to use these other tricks to pretend.

But will the crust still taste like cardboard?!
But will the crust still taste like cardboard?!

Not exactly surprising, but scary nonetheless. SHUDDER.