Lettuce, pickles, mustard, ketchup, "Pappy cheddar abandoned all summer." Sometimes Google Translate doesn't really work out.
Lettuce, pickles, mustard, ketchup, “pappy cheddar abandoned all summer.” Sometimes Google Translate doesn’t really work out.

We’re not sure if the hamburgers on the Fat & Furious Burger Tumblr are good hamburgers — after all, they are made by French people — but they certainly have creative ingredients and presentation, which judging by Iron Chef is pretty much what it takes to be haute cuisine. And yet, do you really want to eat any of these? Or do you merely want to contemplate their craftsmanship?

Capers, pickles, Tabasco, baby corn marinated in holy water
Beef heart, garlic, pickles, ketchup, tabasco, Transylvanian capers, baby corn marinated in holy water.

I mean, obviously if it were a choice between one of these burgers and McDonald’s, I would make out with the ketchupy vampire face. But even with ingredients like pears, pineapple, and endive, it’s hard to be super-interested in eating these or recreating them at home. They kind of elevate the burger above a mere food item and turn it into more of an artistic genre.

Sirloin pork caramelized with pineapple juice, fresh and roasted pineapple, pickled vegetables, ginger and tabasco sauce
Sirloin pork caramelized with pineapple juice, fresh and roasted pineapple, pickled vegetables, ginger, and Tabasco sauce.

One more, and then for the rest you have to look at the Tumblr and its occasionally entertaining Google translations:

Pears, endives, cream cheese (which I think means Brie here), mushroom, coconut.
Pears, endives, cream cheese (which I think means Brie here), mushroom, coconut.

Hmm, that one sounds pretty good, as a matter of fact — minus the little man, the flag, the coconut, and the actual burger part. (Is there even a burger in there? Maybe it’s all mushroom.) OK, French burgermakers, touché. I will eat your moon.