Generally, if you’re in middle school or high school, caring too much or trying too hard is a cardinal sign of uncoolness. That’s one of the main challenges when you’re trying to change attitudes about the environment — how do you make it cool to care? Whatever the answer is, it’s probably not “send some advertising guys to make up terminally dorky superhoeroes,” but apparently nobody told that to this ad agency in Minneapolis-St. Paul. Because the characters they dreamed up for their KidWind project actually make Captain Planet look cool.

That’s KidWind in the center there. A guy who wears a propeller on his head? Not cool. In fact, the definition of not cool.

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KidHydro and KidKinetic look like grown-ups. KidSolar looks like a kid, but c’mon, they put a samurai outfit on a vaguely Asian kid? We applaud the effort at diversity, but that’s getting a little eyebrow-raising.

Plus, these characters do not pass the ultimate kid test: Would you run outside with your friends and pretend to be these characters? KidKinetic is kiiiiinda cool, because he runs fast, but otherwise, no. You don’t want your hero to be the one character that no one wants to pretend to be, because he’s a nerd with a propeller on his head.

We’ll give them Circuit the Dog though. What a cutie.