Where'd I park the Star Destroyer?
Jonathan Rice
Where’d I park the Star Destroyer?

OK. You’re in Death Valley, the record-holder for hottest recorded temperature on Earth. It’s a million and one degrees outside. What do you do? Obviously, you put on your Darth Vader suit and then RUN A MILE. At least you do if you’re 42-year-old Jonathan Rice, who sounds slightly suicidal. I know at times I want to say a big “EFF YOU” to either climate change or summer or both, but there’s gotta be a less painful way to do it.

CNET reports on the craziness, which Rice does every year (he calls it the Darth Valley Challenge, because it sounds more official than “I have some kind of brain fever”):

The most recent Darth Valley Challenge took place on June 30 when the National Weather Service recorded a temperature of 129 degrees. Rice made the mile run in 6 minutes and 36 seconds. He describes the run as pointless, but completely fun. Now, in its fourth year, the challenge this year also had the goal of setting a new Guinness World Record for hottest verified run …

I can’t run a six-minute mile in normal temperatures. Who IS this crazy guy? As Rice writes on his site, “Some people collect porcelain kittens. I run in the heat.” And if you want to join him on the dark side, beware:

This is a ludicrously dangerous endeavor. I don’t support you doing it. I don’t even really support me doing it. If, for the Force-alone knows what reason, you decide to do this, you do so entirely at your own risk and you agree that you fully understand the dangers inherent in running at 129 degrees in a black costume.

YA THINK?

Here’s video from his 2010 run:

The Empire approves.