Sucks to be this guy.

A Portland man who is not named Simon Jackson identified his stolen bike when the thief put it up for sale on Seattle Craigslist. So he wrote an email offering to buy the bike, and traveled to Seattle with backup and cameras. When the thief showed up to sell him his bike back, “Simon” confronted him and chased him down.

It’s pretty entertaining to watch the guy lie about where he lives, how he got the bike, how he thinks Craigslist works, and whether he’s ever even heard the word “bike” before. (“I don’t even know how you would steal a bike!” What?) It’s pretty entertaining to see a low-speed bike/walking chase. It’s pretty entertaining to watch the Seattle PD get baffled about concepts like “bike ownership” and “shorts.” And it’s really entertaining to watch this scumbag get put in the back of a cruiser.

The dude ended up getting arrested for trafficking stolen goods, which is pretty hilarious since from the video he clearly thought “I knew it was stolen, but people buy and sell stolen stuff all the time!” was a logical defense.

The moral of the story comes at about 5:53: “This is why you don’t steal from bicyclists! Because we care about our rides.”