This could all be yours.

If you’re free on March 20, 2013, something to add to your calendar: The government is auctioning drilling leases for the Gulf of Mexico. Some 38 million acres in over 7,000 blocks will go up for bid.

According to the Interior Department’s Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, which oversees offshore energy leases, the tracts on the auction block eventually could produce 460 million to 890 million barrels of oil. …

During the last central Gulf lease sale in June, energy companies offered more than $1.7 billion in high bids for more than 2.4 million acres. The spending was spurred by pent-up demand for the acreage, after a previous central Gulf lease sale was effectively canceled because of the 2010 oil spill.

All that delicious oil, yours for the extractin’. If, you know, you have millions and millions of dollars.

Before you get your checkbook out, you might want to study the strategies of a previous winner of a government fossil-fuel auction, Tim DeChristopher. Perhaps he can show you exactly how to make sure that the auction is a big success for future generations.

That’s a joke. Don’t do what Tim did. Solitary sucks.