Bryan Fischer, ranting about something
43rd State Blues
Bryan Fischer, ranting about something.

Bryan Fischer runs the American Family Association. He is … a piece of work. He spends most of his time bashing homosexuals, but is not afraid to dip a poison-soaked toe into the broader waters of far-right conservatism. Some tweets of his, to set context:

Charming. That last one, though, gets to the point of this story, why we’re bothering to write anything about him. Fischer is also a climate change denier. And on his radio show today (he has a radio show, apparently), he suggested that failing to use fossil fuels was an insult to God.

Fischer described being at a birthday party when he was about 6 years old. Then he went on, as transcribed by Raw Story:

“I opened up a birthday present that I didn’t like, and I said it right out, ‘Oh, I don’t like those,’” the radio host recalled. “And it just crushed — and the person that gave me gift was there. You know, I just kind of blurted it out, ‘I don’t like those.’ And it just crushed that person. It was enormously insensitive of me to do that.”

“And you think, that’s kind of how we’re treating God when he’s given us these gifts of abundant and inexpensive and effective fuel sources,” Fischer added. “And we don’t thank him for it and we don’t use it.”

He concluded with: “God’s buried those treasures there because he loves to see us find them and put them to use.”

Here’s video of the exchange. Suffice it to say that Fischer is as smart when it comes to energy and the environment as he is when predicting electoral outcomes.

According to the Bryan Fischer cosmology, God, while all-powerful, gets His feelings hurt easily. After all, He went to all of the trouble of setting up the planet Earth as a sort of multi-millennia Easter egg hunt. Even the thought that we’d stop searching for these delectable, oily treasures makes God super-sad. That’s probably why He is unleashing all of these storms and droughts and such, since we’re not playing with the toys He gave us. (For the record, the toys suck.)

Bryan Fischer, meanwhile, was sent down by God to test our faith in the First Amendment.