Photo courtesy davefishernc via FlickrWe don’t mean to jump on the hipster (NSFW) hating bandwagon. We know the young and the hip eat healthier and ride bikes more often than their peers and yadda yadda yadda.
But there’s nothing like getting even with the cool kids and catching them in un-green moments. (How cool do you think a bunch of future environmental journalists were in college?) And there are certain trends even the trendy should avoid.
Ah, the 21st century American lumberjack—not to be confused with his predecessor. Although they look quite similar (flannels, beards, unwashed hair), the lumberjack of olden days could chop down maybe one pine with hours of hairy manpower. The modern version can level four square meters of rainforest with just the snort of his nose.
A true hipster scours Goodwill racks for something quirky and ironic that vaguely fits them. For the lazy hipster, there’s always Urban Outfitters. UO has some obvious, ridiculous problems—what with its throwing out bags of destroyed, unused clothing, Republican-lovin’ president, and stealing of artist’s ideas. Then there are long-term sustainability issues that arise from mass-made, fake kitsch and shoddy vintage knockoffs.
Speaking of clothing, we have to point out the unsustainability of trends. Lensless glasses, peace scarves that don’t keep you warm, headbands, strange little hats. All of these things serve no purpose and just end up in a landfill. Do you suppose there’s an entire ocean garbage patch made entirely of shutter shades?
We know you’ve been a vegetarian since age 15 and a vegan off and on. How could we forget? You’ve mentioned it every time we’ve gone out to eat and whenever we introduced you to one of our friends. Which makes it even more likely that we’ll slap those Doritos right out of your hands. A meatless diet doesn’t automatically mean an ethical diet. So lose the junk food and the holier-than-thou ‘tude, dude.
At least 4.5 trillion non-biodegradable cigarettes are thrown away every year. Best-case scenario, they end up in a landfill. If they end up stomped below a pair of Converse, those icky chemicals (and some radioactive material!) can harm the water supply and soil we all hold so dear. So quit smoking or at least dispose of your Parliaments properly.
We don’t mean to knock a good habit. Bikes will always be a better option than cars. It’s still a shame to see so many great Schwinns and Peugeots go to waste. We know, we know—you hate the sound of coasting and find single speeds boring. But instead of buying a new frame, just modify and reuse old bikes.