When we think of toxic wastelands, we usually think of the oil-soaked Gulf of Mexico or perhaps plastic-surgery queen Heidi Montag’s new body. But after taking a peak at the labels of everyday products we use to buff and shine ourselves, we’ve changed our minds. Here we’ve sniffed out some of the shocking potential toxins hiding in your bathroom cabinets and makeup collections. Proceed with caution.

Axe shampooAXE Just Clean Shampoo

You may think there’s nothing sexier than a shiny mane, but this shampoo, and many others, contain the chemicals sodium laureth sulfate and PEG compounds (which break down into the carcinogen 1,4-dioxane), as well as methylisothiazolinone (MIT), which, at high concentrations, may damage your nervous system and is cytotoxic (toxic to your body’s cells). Do you really want to scrub something like that into your scalp? What else is cytotoxic? Ah yes … snake venom. Feel manly washing your head with with a product in the snake-spit family. Take that, Old Spice Guy!

Here’s a little video advice from Umbra Fisk on how to make your own nontoxic shampoo and conditioner. Don’t have time to DIY? Worry not, we’ve saved you the trouble and reviewed a few eco-friendly alternatives, no anti-venom necessary.