At Grist, we’ve been hesitant to touch the mass die-off of animals story for fear of leading readers astray: It turns out that, hey, this sort of thing happens all the time. (Remember cancer clusters?)

That was until we came across the most eminently reasonable explanation for the carnage — and a few other, weather-related natural disasters, as well — yet offered.

It turns out that these animals are dying because we successfully repealed Dont Ask Dont Tell. Or so says Cindy Jacobs, a self-described mouthpiece of God at an organization called Generals International, which is in the business of “prophetic intercession.”

According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman, so we have to say “what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God’s principles?” Well, often what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us — for instance, violent storms, flooding.

(Originally scraped from the bottom of the Internet barrel by Kyle [no last name given] at Right Wing Watch.)