Someone at the Wall Street Journal read a press release about a scientific finding! And then decided that since people are evidently still discovering things, climate science is probably going to turn out bullshit.

Last month, scientists at CERN, the prestigious high-energy physics lab in Switzerland, reported that neutrinos might—repeat, might—travel faster than the speed of light. If serious scientists can question Einstein's theory of relativity, then there must be room for debate about the workings and complexities of the Earth's atmosphere. 

Hey, why stop there? If serious scientists can do a single as-yet-unreplicated experiment casting doubt on relativity, then there must be room to debate something as complex as the human body and genetic inheritence. Let's get evolution back on the table, guys! Also, gravity! And electronics, that shit is tricky — if CERN can find something surprising, can we truly trust our devices to continue to work? They practically run on neutrinos! What? Electrons? Well if serious scientists can question relativity, do you really expect me to trust their definitions of "electrons" and "neutrinos"?

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The rest of the op-ed basically boils down to three points:

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  • You may say it's a terrible thing for carbon to increase, but the fact is, carbon is increasing. What do you say to THAT, smart guy?
  • Also, it's not my fault.
  • Plus, I LIKE driving and I get HOT in the summer, so screw you.

Personally, though, I find the "Galileo was outvoted for a spell" approach to be the most hilarious every time.

(Hat tip to @mmoyr for the headline.)