Internet hilarity repository Cracked has a roundup of energy solutions that sound more like mad scientist plots. They go from "human body heat" all the way up to "giant invisible energy death ray," and they're pretty awesome. Here, for example, is an electric eel powering a Christmas tree!

Reader support helps sustain our work. Donate today to keep our climate news free. All donations DOUBLED!

In perhaps the most uncreative vision of the future in the history of mankind, the eel tree's inventor is quoted as saying, "If we could gather up all the electric eels from all around the world we would be able to light up an unimaginably large Christmas tree." Solve the global energy crisis? Naaah. Huge Christmas tree.

Still, we guess it's better than the alternative, like if he dreamed of a ten thousand square mile pit of electric eels. Or, breeding one Godzilla-sized eel. Of course if you were working your way up to either of those things, you probably wouldn't admit it. You'd probably cover it up by saying you were doing it for the greatest cause of all, something no one would question. Like, say, Christmas.

Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.

Go read the rest to find out about blood-powered batteries and volcano lairs!