In a disturbing development, there are indications that birds, apparently pissed at the concerted assault on their habitat, are organizing to fight back against the man they hold responsible.

Also at issue are what birds claim are repeated efforts to shoot them in the head.

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“It’s happened so many times that the old ‘Sorry, I was drunk and cleaning my gun’ routine just doesn’t cut it anymore,” said Mal R. Duck in a recent interview. "He shoots his buddy and it makes headlines, but what’s missing from the news accounts is that he pulls the same bull [manure] on us all the time,” said a clearly disgruntled Duck. “He’s an ass___,” a bywaddler added.

Calls to mammals, reptiles, and fishes for comment were not returned by press time.

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