I’m depressed. But, “Blog something funny,” says my editor. So here goes.

China’s toxic rivers are still toxic! Ha ha!

We don’t know why (wink, wink) but there’s so little snow this winter that the infamous “they” are canceling snow sculpting contests and putting detours in sled dog races! Ho ho ho!

Rumor has it that the Asia-Pacific climate pact will not reduce emissions at all! Oh, my splitting sides!

There’s a possibility that organic produce has more pesticides than regular produce! Ah, you slay me!

Soy and bug spray might negatively affect reproductive organs! Stop it, I’m crying!

Welp, the environment isn’t funny, so it’s a damn good thing Jack Handey is.