Speaking of Americans never, ever, ever giving up their cars: 88 percent, if forced to ditch either their vehicle or their email/instant messaging, would forgo internet communications in favor of wheels, according to a recent survey. And 86 percent would rather abandon their cell phone than their car.

Yet more evidence of how out of touch I am with the masses of real red-blooded Americans. You can have my Honda, but keep your damn paws off the iBook.