Like Rep. Todd Akin, Nellie the sea otter does not understand how human reproduction works. But she’s never said anything offensive about rape, plus she can stack three cups! She should probably run for Congress.

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Other ways in which Nellie is better than Todd Akin:

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  • She is not an idiot.
  • She doesn’t care what you do with your own cups, and will not try to legislate  your cup usage.
  • We can say with 100 percent certainty that she has never committed voter fraud.
  • She has no opinion on whether liberals hate god.
  • Her colleagues include that whistling walrus, rather than Michele Bachmann.

Advantage: otter.