Men: Can’t live with them. Can’t overpopulate without them.

A new study of Swedish fishermen suggests that pollution alters the ratio of chromosomes in sperm. But the news isn’t half-bad: those in the study — which focused on exposure to POPs, or persistent organochlorine pollutants — harbored more Y chromosomes than X. Which means, if any of them settle down with a Swedish fisherlass, they might just create more boys than girls.

Dudes, we’re on to you. Pollute this place with your “mercury’s good for you!” logic and feeble regulations. Mess with your own sperm. Then make more of you to inherit the earth.

Hell, you can have it.