Our prized natural places are hardly pristine, according to a six-year federal study. Researchers looked at the air, water, soil, lichen, conifer needles, and fish in 20 national parks and monuments. They found a total of some 70 contaminants, from near as well as far, local pesticide residue mingling with mercury wafted in from overseas. At eight parks, fish were too full of chemicals to be safe for human consumption, and researchers also found feminized male fish in some places. So remember, children: Guns don’t hurt parks — people hurt parks.