At the conclusion of a two-day U.S.-hosted climate summit of the world’s major emitters, George W. Bush announced that he’s been faking his climate-change laggardness all along, and signed on to reduce greenhouse gases in various planet-saving-while-still-economy-boosting ways. Ha ha ha! Sob. No, just as expected, Bush said what he always says — voluntary measures will save the world! goals are for pansies! coordinated efforts are stupid! Oh, and there should be discussions about an “international clean technology fund.” Woohoo. The gathered countries recognized Bush’s admission that climate change is a problem (gasp!) and that something should be done about it (double gasp!) as what suffices for progress from this administration, but were under no delusions that Bush’s remedies would be in any way effective. Said John Ashton, a climate envoy from Britain: “I think that the argument that we can do this through voluntary approaches is now pretty much discredited internationally.”

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