I got a press release a few days ago inviting me to the “Ice Lounge,” an “exclusive” green event at Sundance that promised me Lindsey Lohan, Josh Hartnett, and Justin Timberlake. All I had to do was make a reservation, since it was in a “gated” area.

After doing that, I thought I was well on my way to touching more celebrities. But then I tried to find the place, and after an hour of wandering in the snow from chichi resort to chichi resort (including one so exclusive I literally could not find the door), I gave up.

Then I was hanging out downtown with some renegade biofuel enthusiasts (more on that in a future post) yesterday, when I saw some other exclusive green-tinged event I wasn’t “on the list” for. I asked them if they knew anything about this mythical house of ice in which famous people gathered. As if on cue, a shiny silver Lexus hybrid SUV pulled up beside me, and the lady pointed. “Just hop in there. They’ll take you up.”

The car window rolled down and the driver told me to get in — and to help myself to some chocolate, which was sitting in a basket on the back seat. It was like a spy movie, except I’m not a spy and they usually bash their teeth in when they get in the Lexus, not offer them candy bars.

So off I was whisked, along with two annoying film guys from New York, stuffing chocolate bars into my bag as we rode up through the mountains.

We finally arrived at the ice house in the sky (“which will melt when the event is over, leaving no trace,” according to organizers), which was prominently emblazoned with the logos of sponsors.

I spent a while milling through the place, and though I found some delicious trout balls, I didn’t see anyone famous. The Lexus folks reported that Tom Arnold had been by yesterday, and that he’d been pretty competitive in their hybrid virtual racing game. Jena from The Conservation Fund reported that Josh Hartnett already came, saw, and carbon neutralized, and Heather Graham had stopped in and made a big donation too.

According to an anonymous member of the event’s catering staff, not many famous people had actually stopped by, despite the promises of the press release. Only lots of people who wish they were. “We’ve had a lot of A-list hangers-on,” she reported. “Some of these folks have been here for hours. I wish they’d leave.”

The lounge didn’t have the promised celebs, but it did have plenty of cool eco-gear, from clothing to fancy cars to carbon offsets and bamboo flooring, allowing everyone there who was not me to buy their way to carbon neutrality.