1. No beefeater allowed

    Is it bad that veg-friendly rehab only makes us want to drink more?

  2. Hairy spotter

    Unable to bear it any more, the British army is looking to find a substitute material for its tall, fuzzy hats. Paging Devendra Banhart!

    Photo: Ella Mullins

  3. Stranger than friction

    If Smencils are smelly pencils, then Sliquid is … gross? We’re all for organic lube (and portmanteaus), but that’s probably not gonna get us in the smood.

  4. Drilling ain’t all that

    Says actress Rachael Leigh Cook: The next prez should turn environmentalism from the geeky kid into a prom queen top-three issue, and offshore drilling is just as much of a disaster as Josie and the Pussycats.

    Photo: osei

  5. The wheels on the pub go round and round

    Attention would-be lawyers — this is a much more fun way to take the bar.

    Photo: Het Fietscafe