1. From Russia with lust

    Hot and bothered about its dwindling population, a Russian region recently gave women a half-day off work for patriotic sex; liaisons ending in perfectly timed babies may be rewarded with a brand new SUV. We’d make some privileged snark about overpopulation and emissions, but time off for getting laid? We’re sold.

    Photo: iStockphoto

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  2. Yo’ mammoth

    We have a bone to pick with you, global warming — why do you keep giving us shit?

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    Photo: REUTERS / Sergei Karpukhin

  3. Flights of fancy

    Aiming to reduce carbon emissions, this flight-sharing club will allow celebs to tag-team their private jets. Now if only they could come up with a way to put hundreds of people going to the same destination on one plane … oh, wait.

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    Photo: iStockphoto

  4. Tube: tops

    Go ahead and do your research, scientists, but the benefits of a 12-inch miracle tube seem pretty obvious to us.

    Photo: iStockphoto

  5. Clothesless

    What this PETA ad teaches us: She’s hot ’cause she’s veg. You ain’t ’cause you not. Veg is why, veg is why, veg is why she’s hot.

    Photo: Leon Bennett / WireImage