I never realized this before, but it turns out otters can talk, and furthermore they sound just like Ike from South Park. This one also seems mildly irked by human inability to comprehend her language. What is she trying to tell us?

  • “More oysters please.”
  • “If you notice a warm patch, sorry, that was me.”
  • “Here is my impression of Ike from South Park.”
  • “This Akin guy — what the fuck, right?”
  • “I’m trying to have an intellectual discussion here, you imbecile. Have you even READ Anthony Trollope? You are out of the book club.”
  • “Madam, I may be drunk, but you’re ugly, and I’ll be sober in the morning.”
  • “Don’t patronize me.”

The best thing about the talking otter is that she can be saying basically whatever you want her to be saying. I predict she’ll be taking my side in a lot of arguments from here on out. (“I see your point, but the talking otter says you’re a ninny.”)

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UPDATE: Hold the phone, I just noticed that the video title is “Nellie the talking otter.” (I went back and changed the gendered pronouns accordingly.) Could this be the very same Nellie who is smarter than Todd Akin? OK, now I really am voting for her. Stacking three cups + speaking adorable gibberish that I can interpret any way I want = ideal candidate.

Maybe what she’s really saying is “if elected, I promise an oyster in every pot.”

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