Sketchy “eco-friendly product” news: Restroom Guardian, a water-soluble packet containing “common granular chemicals,” creates a layer of foam in public toilets to protect your tush.

Today’s Best Sentence Ever comes from Dental Economics: “Restroom Guardian helps eliminate unsanitary and unhealthy toilet micro splatter bacterial cross-contamination while greatly lessening unwanted restroom sounds.”

You heard it here first. As it were.