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Articles by Jen Harper

Once upon a time, Jen Harper was Ask Umbra's whip-cracking editor, though she doesn't really have a whip or necessarily know how to crack one. She has now successfully re-entered civilian society.

All Articles

  • Prez steals, owes fines

    OK, so you couldn’t tell a lie, Georgie boy, but apparently you made no bones about stealing a couple of library books and not paying your fines. Gasp! That’s right, Pres. George Washington was just as big a fan of the library as Ask Umbra (woot for reusing, Mr. Prez); however, according to an old […]

  • But can you dance and chew gum at the same time?

    Photo: KIMTI wore a purple lamé dress to my junior prom, which I attended with my best friend, Jessica, because we were both too dorky to actually have dates. (Sorry, Jessica, I should just speak for myself. I was too dorky, and Jessica was my faithful best friend. Thank you, Jessica. And thanks for driving […]

  • Everybody poops…for a price

    While it’s true that an airplane bathroom isn’t necessarily anyone’s idea of a five-star restroom experience, it does come as a welcome relief 30,000 feet above the ground after two in-flight club sodas. So imagine your surprise when, after scrambling over your fellow passengers and down the narrow aisle with a full bladder, there’s a […]

  • Insane posse of climate deniers?

    I know you were probably a little worried that these guys had gone extinct, so I have some excellent news: Insane Clown Posse just came out with a new song! And that’s not all. It teaches us about science—with a twist—so no need to fret any longer about our flagging education system. It’s a little […]