If you’re a mustache-waxing, arm-garter-wearing, chicken-raising hipster — and you are, right? I think that is Grist’s audience — obviously you find the humble bicycle depressingly modern. Sure, you could switch to a velocipede, but for maximum retro, why not kit out your bike to sound just like a horse?

And how do you do that? Obviously, you get two halves of a coconut and you bang ’em together.

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Here’s what the contraption, cheekily called Trotify, looks like in use:

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And here is a completely nuts video about it, which you like because you are a hipster and it features a rubber horse mask:

That video kind of ruins my plans to just make one zillion Monty Python jokes, because it makes the inspiration transparent. But whatever, I’m going to do it anyway. WHERE DID THEY GET THE COCONUTS? THEY FOUND THEM. ARE YOU SUGGESTING COCONUTS MIGRATE? IT’S NOT A QUESTION OF WHERE HE GRIPS IT, IT’S A SIMPLE QUESTION OF WEIGHT RATIOS.

Phew! Now I feel better. Anyhoodle, it’s stupid, it’s hilarious, it only costs $19.99, and they need to get 1,000 pre-orders before it’s economically feasible to make them. So buy one for yourself, buy a few for gifts, buy one for @Horse_ebooks, send one as a creepy fan present to John Cleese, etc.

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