Click to, uh, embiggen.

Veit SchuetzClick to, uh, embiggen.

Artist Veit Schuetz says that his inspiration for this penisy map of New York came from “one hour of desperate staring at a map in a deserted New York Subway station at 4 a.m.,” which makes me a little embarrassed, because it required neither desperation, sleep deprivation, nor a full hour for me to decide that Manhattan and Brooklyn looked like dangly bits.

Anyway, this is obviously the simultaneous solution to making sex ed easy and public transit fun. High school students in the New York area should soon be arranging to meet each other for coffee in the frenulum, and then in a few years they can complain that the testes are so expensive now and they had to move to the epididymis. (I mean, who can afford to live in the testes if you don’t work in the urethra, am I right?)

The real question is, what city should we use for the female reproductive system? I feel like the obvious answer is Chicago, except it’s their basketball team’s logo that looks like a uterus, not their public transportation.

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And if you’re mad that you can’t unsee that, well, I’m just going to blame it on desperate staring at ESPN at 4 a.m. That will be a lie to save face, of course.

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