A new coal-gasification company has named itself LoraxAg, after the consummate Seussical eco-hero, The Lorax. It’s admittedly part of a move to brand the company as advancing the mythical-sounding “Green Coal Technology.” (That’s trademarked, naturally.)

The Lorax“Green Coal” doesn’t sound musical to the Seussical.Photo: Chris1051 via Flickr

“The Lorax is the protector of the truffula trees,” LoraxAg president Mike Farina said. “We think this is the greenest use of coal.”

In response to the outright ridiculosity of the occasion, I’ve composed a brief tongue-in-cheek homage to one of my childhood heros, Dr. Seuss. (Let me just say it was a glum day in first grade when I found out he passed away.)

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“Mister!” he said with a coal-ashy sneeze,
“I am the Lorax. I speak for coal lobbies.
I speak for ‘Green Coal,’ for they have no monies.”

Do you hope the Doctor Seuss their green-washed eggs and ham off?

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(Hat tip to The Wonk Room.)