Stephen Colbert has officially thrown his hat in the ring for definitely possibly considering a run for president. He’s already out-polling Jon Huntsman! So what kind of environmental policy platform could we expect from a President Colbert?
Well, for starters, no more EPA! Everyone knows pollution is a job-creator.
Reverse the incandescent light bulb ban! Incandescent bulbs are American, macho, and anti-Communist.
No dairy regulation! We have a right to get dysentery.
Approve Keystone XL, because it will create literally septillions of jobs!
Colbert does have one distinct advantage over all the other candidates except poor Huntsman, though: He believes in global warming.
Just maybe not in thermodynamics.