Stephen Colbert has officially thrown his hat in the ring for definitely possibly considering a run for president. He’s already out-polling Jon Huntsman! So what kind of environmental policy platform could we expect from a President Colbert?
Well, for starters, no more EPA! Everyone knows pollution is a job-creator.
Reverse the incandescent light bulb ban! Incandescent bulbs are American, macho, and anti-Communist.
No dairy regulation! We have a right to get dysentery.
School lunch overhauls: More tater tots and Wyyyyngzzz!
Approve Keystone XL, because it will create literally septillions of jobs!
Colbert does have one distinct advantage over all the other candidates except poor Huntsman, though: He believes in global warming.
Just maybe not in thermodynamics.