There’s a down side to getting energy from wind: People who live near turbine farms report annoyance and even health effects from the noise. Amazingly, though, people with turbines on their land don’t have these symptoms, even though they live closer to the turbines than their suffering neighbors! What’s effecting this miraculous immunity? Turns out: Money.

According to public health professor Simon Chapman, people who benefit financially from wind turbines somehow don’t report “wind turbine syndrome,” even though the turbines are right in their backyards. Incredible! What other ailments can this miracle medicine cure? I volunteer to be the test subject.