humor
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The Onion suggests we figure out pretty fast who we need to kill
The Onion reports that scientists have figured out the definitive solution to overpopulation, resource depletion, and environmental carnage: We just need to kill off a third of the human race. Who wants to go first?
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Ask Umbra: Got any good green jokes?
A reader wonders if there are any funny environmental one-liners. Umbra yuks it up.
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The most bare-chested grocery-bag video you’ll watch today
This is maybe not the most complex Tim Minchin song I've ever heard, but you have to admit it imbues canvas grocery bags with some much-needed rock star cachet. At least by the time the giant fan comes out. (Hat tip to Umbra reader Jake!)
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The Onion warns that global warming could be irreversible within negative five years
If you've ever felt confused about the definition of "lolsob," read this Onion headline: "Report: Global Warming May Be Irreversible By 2006." Oy. The Onion has been on a roll lately of just reporting the news straight and letting it satirize itself (see also: "Rumors Of Extramarital Affair End Campaign Of Presidential Candidate Who Didn't […]
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Why Miracle on 34th Street delights my cold cynical heart
Miracle on 34th Street is the perfect Christmas movie for those who hate fake sentimentality. It is not that the classic 1947 film lacks schmaltz, but that a sly script hides a sharp edge under every schmear. Most of the plot advances come when characters, good and bad act out of self-interest. Two exceptions are […]
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Wasting energy = blue balls, apparently
It seems to be a pretty time-honored advertising strategy that when you want your message to really hit, you need to connect it to things men want/don't want to happen to their penises. In this example, found on Tumblr, wasting energy is … blue balls, or maybe priapism? And turning off the light is an […]
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Finally, celebrities come up with some real global warming solutions
We need fresh, innovative, attention-grabbing new ideas for combating global warming, and the Clinton Foundation Celebrity Division is on the case. That Kristen Wiig is really on to something — I'm gonna go hold my breath right now.
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Evil mad scientists are clearly behind all energy innovations
Internet hilarity repository Cracked has a roundup of energy solutions that sound more like mad scientist plots. They go from "human body heat" all the way up to "giant invisible energy death ray," and they're pretty awesome. Here, for example, is an electric eel powering a Christmas tree! In perhaps the most uncreative vision of […]