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Confused black bear breaks INTO zoo

"Man, I'm bummed I'm still stuck in the zoo."
The Gut
Why am still stuck here?!

Earlier this week, a young black bear scaled a 10-foot fence outside the Knoxville Zoo and snuck inside (perhaps to stage a jail break?). Silly bear, everyone knows you try to escape from the zoo, not bust INTO it. (I know, I know; don't actually free zoo animals, they don't know how to live in the wild, etc. I'm just trying to keep them entertained.) A zoo ranger spotted the roughly 150-pound bear about midnight:

The first thought was to check the zoo’s own group of four captive black bears which lounge in the natural habitat Black Bear Falls in another section of the park. Zookeepers quickly counted bear noses and discovered that none of their bears were out and about for an evening stroll.

THEY COUNTED NOSES. Um, adorable.

Read more: Animals, Living

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Here is the Batman theme sung by actual bats

You can't hear the noises bats make -- they're too high-frequency for human ears. But slow them down to audible range, and voila: It turns out they've been singing the theme song for the 1960s Adam West Batman series.

Read more: Animals, Living

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Watch a gorilla lose his cool with a bunch of bullying kids

It is a generally accepted truism around the Grist offices that humans are jerks and it would serve us right if the natural world turned around and swatted us one. So we're enjoying this video in which human jerk children get a well-deserved pants-peeing scare from a gorilla.

Read more: Animals, Living

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Doggie food truck trend refuses to die

Ruff life, eh?
Ruff life, eh?

Doggie daycares are so yesterday. REAL hipsters go to doggie food trucks, where pups can lick a meat-flavored frozen treat:

There’s the Sit ‘N Stay Pet Cafe in Orlando, Florida ... which serves “truly healthy gourmet treats” using “human-grade, locally sourced, organic, natural and humanely raised/harvested ingredients.” ... In Elizabeth, New Jersey, there’s the Frosty Pooch, an ice cream truck which also offers other treats like bones and cookies. And in Austin, Texas, there’s Bow-Wow Chow, which sells a “variety of all natural, preservative free, locally baked, fresh pet treats as well as specialty treats, such as Doggie Ice Cream.”

Read more: Animals, Food, Living

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Please do not shoot the world’s oldest wild bear

Speak up, dear.
Minnesota DNR
Speak up, dear.

Go to Northern Minnesota and you may be lucky enough to spot the oldest wild bear in the world, descriptively named No. 56. She’s only 39, but she’s had 26 kids, and by now her vision and hearing are going. Employees of Grand Rapids’ Department of Natural Resources are asking area hunters and residents to show a little mercy so she can die naturally -- even though she’s the equivalent of the town wino:

Her gait is a little unsteady. When people see her they think she looks drunk. That’s because no one ever sees an old, old, old bear like that.

Awesome, 39 is “old, old, old”? Thanks for making me feel decrepit, bear police.

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Climate change threatening the David Hasselhoff crab

Night rider.
David Shale
Night rider.

Global warming is posing a threat to a hirsute crab that was nicknamed “Hoff” due to its resemblance to David Hasselhoff’s forestlike chest, making the word “Baywatch” relevant for the first time in 20 years. Reports the L.A. Times:

The hairy-chested Yeti crab, which survives in an environment of no light, little oxygen, extreme temperatures and tremendous pressure, may not be able to survive a warming ocean, scientists say.

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A red panda has gone missing from the National Zoo

UPDATE: Rusty has been captured! He was found in Adams Morgan where he was probably intending to get a jumbo slice, but instead he's been picked up and brought back home.

Have you ever spent every minute of every day wanting to cuddle a red panda? Well, if you live in D.C. you may  be in luck, because this adorable little fella has gone walkabout:

rusty_tweet

In all seriousness, though, do not cuddle him:

Read more: Animals, Living

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Minnesota mother-son crime team steals and sells 3,200 gopher feet

SOMEbody needs a manicure!
Dawn Ellner
SOMEbody needs a manicure!

Forget stamp collecting: A Minnesota guy stockpiled almost 3,200 gopher feet in his freezer, ready to collect the $3-a-pair reward for killing the local pests this winter -- which would’ve amounted to a tidy $4,794. But a local mother and son, 37-year-old Tina Marie Garrison and 18-year-old Junior Lee Dillon, stole the feet first:

The [gopher feet] owner contacted local townships that offer rewards for gophers to keep down their numbers and found Dillon had turned in $1,014 in feet in November. In December, Garrison turned in $3,780 in feet.

Can we just take a sec and think about HOW GROSS it would be to behead befoot 1,600 gophers? "Oh hi, Bob. Just let me put away my Barbie guillotine!"

Read more: Animals, Living

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This slightly horrifying frog that grows babies in its mouth is probably extinct

journal.pone.0066957.g001
PLoS One

Rhinoderma darwinii and R. rufum are two freaky frog species that Charles Darwin discovered while tromping around Chile and Argentina in the 1830s. Unfortunately, it’s looking like the latter is gone for good, thanks to invasive species and deforestation. Scientific American reports:

The weird and unusual Chile Darwin’s frog (Rhinoderma rufum), whose tadpoles grew inside the vocal sacs of adult males, appears to be extinct: a four-year quest failed to turn up any evidence that the species still exists. The frogs were last seen in 1980.

That’s right: The frogs are “mouth-brooding” -- the only genus to do that. So the next time you marvel at the wackiness of human childbirth, just be glad babies chose a hole to grow in other than the one used for karaoke and cheese fries.

Read more: Animals, Living

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Here is an anteater getting wasted

Listen, tamanduas are just like you, or Carrie Bradshaw, or the French. When they want to unwind, they go for a glass of red wine. And we all know where that leads:

Read more: Animals