Update below

The coal-industry group Families Organized to Represent the Coal Economy, which doesn’t actually allow families to join, has a wonderfully crappy coloring book for children. Let’s have a look!

Plot, character development, and drawings that kids would actually want to color don’t seem to be priorities for “Eyes for Frosty.” At least it picks a relevant topic in snowmen—they won’t be around for long if the coal industry succeeds in stomping all over climate change legislation. And kids will be stuck with the consequences of our fossil-fuel pollution, so it sort of makes sense to at least leave them with a coloring book.

 

Eyes for frostyAll Images: Families Organized to Represent the Coal Economy

It should be clear already: the artist’s heart just isn’t in this.

Eyes for frosty

Meet Power Rock and his sidekick Spurt.

[Skipping boring stuff about prehistoric sediment]

Eyes for frosty

But where did the mountaintops go?

Eyes for frosty

Spurt finally gets some screen time.

Eyes for frosty

Power Rock’s eyes get more evil-looking in each frame.

Eyes for frosty

Wait, they can fly? Come back Power Rock! Come back Spurt!

Now go check out some real climate art.

Update: Alert reader SOLARKISMET informs us the Illinois Department of Commerce and Economic Opportunity runs an annual Coal Calendar Art & Essay Contest for middle schoolers. It’s sad, but these student artists show more talent than the “Eyes for Frosty” creator. Why, Illinois, why?