1. It’s better than Mickey Mouse Club

    Just when you think Natalie Portman can’t get any cuter without doing irreparable harm to the space-time continuum — she’s immune to bad hair days, we tell you! — it turns out she used to perform in the World Patrol Kids, which rocked such adorably memorable kiddy tunes as “Recycle It!” That’s her, dancing in the back, so perky you could just eat her.

  2. Mardi gracias

    Ah, spring break: that special time in a co-ed’s life reserved for borderline-fatal drinking, ill-advised sexual liaisons, and … hauling debris? For the “voluntourists” in the Mardi Gras Service Corps, it’s all about renewing New Orleans by day and destroying livers by night. Throw ‘em some beads. And a hoe.

    Photo: iStockphoto.

  3. Woah, isn’t it ironic?

    When scientifically complex, geopolitically significant stories face the public, all eyes turn to Keanu Reeves and Alanis Morissette. “It’s like global climatic instability, on your wedding day!” They host The Great Warming, a climate-change documentary hitting NYC next week — and sure to render penguins so last year.

    Photo: thegreatwarming.com

  4. Scrap happy

    Recycling: the new petty theft. With the commodities market thirsty for scrap, thieves are tapping an unusual source of funds: empty beer kegs. Sold as scrap metal and then recycled, the “kegs with legs” will be keeping brewers on their toes today, “the Super Bowl of keg theft.”

    Photo: iStockphoto.

  5. G.I.V.E. ‘em hell, Cody

    Polo Jeans’ G.I.V.E. ad campaign is touting volunteerism with arousingly affectless, cybernetically hot young do-gooder models. Our favorite is Cody, an honor student, athlete, and Environmental Media Association award winner. By saving on fabric — heroically sacrificing belly-button coverage — she’s certainly improved our office environment.