Demeter Fragrance Library makes smelly stuff — perfumes, air fresheners, and a variety of soaps, oils, lotions, and whatnot. It says its scents are “inspired by everyday objects and experiences.” Which sounds great in theory, but in reality it has led to sushi-scented cologne.

Demeter Fragrance Library

Now, one of life’s great pleasures is catching a whiff of bubbling stew, freshly baked bread, or too-hot-to-eat pie. But I wouldn’t even count sushi among the foods I like the smell of, let along want to smell like. To be fair, Digital Spy says that “the product doesn’t quite smell like the Japanese dish” — it’s more of a grassy, rice-y, seaweed-y, gingery, lemon smell, apparently.

Reviews are mixed. At least one person likes it:

The worst thing I ever did was to purchase this as a 1/2oz splash instead of the 1oz spray because I went through it much quicker. To me, it smells like vegetarian sushi: sweet rice, rice vinegar and a hint of dried seaweed. This is one of the best scents I’ve tried … if not THE best.

Others are not so enthusiastic:

This mostly smells like orange on me.

It smelled almost like licorice.

The company also makes a Gin & Tonic scent, if you want to smell like you’ve had too much to drink all the time. For Grist readers, though, we recommend the Dirt scent, so that you can smell like you’ve been out enjoying nature or gardening all the time, even when you’ve been cooped up all day at your desk.