Dunky, dunky, what's in the trunky?
Dunky, dunky, what’s in the trunky?

OK, it only goes 65 mph, but that makes the Bean Machine the world’s fastest coffee-powered car. Insert joke about cars stepping up to the counter and ordering a venti every morning, and do cars ever say “no foam,” get it, because cars don’t talk. But seriously, no foam. It does not run on milk. Just pellets made of coffee-grinding byproducts, which are burned for hydrogen to power the car.

The Bean Machine was designed by a British person, engineer Martin Bacon, which means it’s actually also kind of cute, in a sort of under-the-radar, stubby pickup way. It’s Simon Pegg cute.

Here is a video showing you how a bunch of people put together this thing, which was built to commemorate The Cooperative Food’s 10th anniversary of converting to all free-trade coffee. It starts with sort of dramatic instrumental track, but be warned that it switches to a horrible white rap song about coffee at around 2:42.

We’re glad that coffee can power something. We would like to use this cool car to get away from this video about this cool car.