One type of ergonomic "no-nose" saddle. Photo by Hutschi on Wikimedia Commons.

Bike seats may contribute to erectile dysfunction — and it's no surprise, when you consider where you shove 'em. “When you sit on a regular bike saddle, you’re sitting on your penis,” says reproductive physiologist Steven Schrader. If that didn't just make you cross your legs, don't get comfortable, ladies: More than 60 percent of you will experience genital pain, numbness, or tingling from sitting on a bike seat. According to this New York Times article, at least, bike seats are the worst threat to your junk since America's Funniest Home Videos.

Reader support helps sustain our work. Donate today to keep our climate news free. All donations DOUBLED!

Regular bike saddles put pressure on your perineum — and that tain't cool, if you catch my drift. The solution might be the "no-nose" saddle, which supports the sit bones but keeps its mitts off your meat. This inspired the title of Schrader's 2008 study "Cutting Off the Nose to Save the Penis."

There are a couple reasons that no-nose saddles haven't gotten more traction. Peter Flax, editor of Bicycling magazine, doubts they'd be much good in a race; I guess they inhibit the popular racing strategy of steering the bike using your labia, or something. Then there's the peer pressure aspect. People are embarrassed to use noseless saddles (they look weird) or to sell them (they seem to scream "I have erectile dysfunction!" instead of "I would like my means of transportation to be as little threat as possible to my health!"). 

Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.

Still, evolution dictates that eventually no-nose saddles will probably catch on: People who are willing to use them will have a lot more opportunities to pass on their genes.