Personally, we’d never drink from a cup that Halliburton handed us. It seems like it would be likely to contain crude oil or crushed babies or something, and would probably seal us in a blood pact where we have to spend half the year in the underworld. But Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper (D) is a braver man, apparently. He took the cup offered to him by Halliburton and — in what he describes as a “ritual-like” way — took a gulp.
In the cup was fracking fluid.
Hickenlooper, who describes himself as a “recovering geologist,” told the U.S. Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee on Tuesday: “You can drink it. We did drink it around the table, almost ritual-like, in a funny way.”
“Like a pact?” asked Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.), a recovering comedian who did not find this funny at all.
It did sort of sound like a secret pact. According to Hickenlooper, he was sitting around a table with environmental community representatives and industry reps and they all took a drink.
Franken wondered if it were some sort of occult practice.
“No, there were no religious overtures,” the governor told him. Perhaps it was more of a celebratory toast to all the livelihoods fracking has destroyed.
Halliburton does say its fracking fluid comes from “ingredients sourced from the food industry.” Whatever that means, we wouldn’t drink it. Crushed babies are sourced from all-natural ingredients, too.