Grist List

Living

Dear god, this insane old nature show is amazing

Man, you know when you’re eating lunch at a rest stop and you get up to follow a raccoon, and he goes through this doorway standing in the middle of nowhere, and then BOOM! Eye of Horus! and then the door disappears and a batty old lady shows up to tell you about seagulls and pickleweed? If you do, this video — soldered together out of clips from the “Tripping With Terwilliger” nature films — will make you feel like someone really gets you. If you don’t, though, it’s still phenomenally awesome. I like the part where she yells at …

Food

Cheeseburger-crust pizza is not even recognizable as pizza

We need to think of a new name for the monstrosities that pizza companies are coming up with, because, really, this is NOT pizza: Pizza Hut is selling this mutant creature in the Middle East, where, if the ad is to be believed, ordering a hamburger at a pizza place is a GIANT AND HILARIOUS JOKE and Pizza Hut just wants to shut those douches up. In what might be the greatest anti-monarchial movement in recent Middle East history, it’s also being marketed as the “most royal” pizza. Here’s what the thing looks like up close:

Animals

Greenland is feeding endangered whale meat to tourists

Denmark wants permission for indigenous communities in Greenland (which it rules) to catch more whales for food, The Guardian reports. Problem is, an environmental group has found that the whale meat’s not actually going to feed indigenous communities. It’s going to tourists who I guess get a kick out of eating something endangered: The [Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society] chief executive, Chris Butler-Stroud, said: “The Danish government’s claims that Greenland needs to kill more whales for nutritional and cultural needs is laughable. Who is this meat really for? Our investigation report shows that this demand for more whale meat is …

Cities

Clear Channel chops down tree to improve view of billboard

Looking at a tree relaxes people. Looking at a billboard makes them wish they were looking at anything else — but it makes money for somebody! So it totally makes sense that Cleveland let Clear Channel chop down a 30-year-old linden tree in order to provide clear sight lines to a billboard advertising some local radio station. If by “totally makes sense” you mean “HULK SMASH.” Here’s the city’s defense, for what it’s worth (not much): There are instances in which trees are trimmed due to the lack of visibility of a sign; however, in this particular situation tree trimming …

Biking

Laser-show bike helmet looks awesome, might actually make you safer

If your first thought when looking at this LED-encrusted bike helmet is “I bet that would make an awesome personal light show for when I shred on my guitar in my bedroom,” you’re not alone. The actual goal of the LumaHelm, though, is to make bikers safer through improved signaling. The entire helmet is armored with LEDs that respond to various inputs, including from a built-in accelerometer — which means that your head can turn into a brake light or turn signal with just a waggle of the head. 

Cities

Cities sell ad space on potholes, hydrants, and fire trucks

Well, this is dystopian: Faced with a cash shortage, some cities are opening up ad space on public services like fire hydrants, manhole covers, subway turnstiles, and fire trucks. On the one hand, that revenue means that the cities can continue providing services to advertise on. On the other hand, tell me this photo of the KFC Colonel inaugurating a Fiery Wings hydrant doesn’t send a chill up your spine.

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