Some may dream of shaking up their routine by getting out on the open highway for a road trip; public transit lovers dream of getting on a train and watching the world speed by. But many a dream train trip has been derailed by a quick reality check of how frickin’ long it takes to get almost anywhere on the train.

Now, though, it’s possible to indulge those fantasies to their fullest with this map of an imaginary U.S. high-speed rail that will take you anywhere you want to go, faster than you ever imagined possible, and without any of the attendant guilt of flying.

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Alfred Twu
Click to embiggen.

New York to Chicago? That looks to be about, oh, five or so hours to us.

D.C. to Austin? Doesn’t even require a transfer.

Portland to Los Angeles? No longer so cognitively dissonant.

Oh, hi, are you still here? We are, too, we guess — mentally, we’re somewhere between Denver and Albuquerque, zooming along at 220 mph.