You gotta hand it to Charles G. Koch: The guy’s got chutzpah.

Charles is the one on the left, not that it matters.

This morning, the Wall Street Journal ran an opinion piece from the infamous CEO of Koch Industries, the oil and gas (and many other things) giant that Forbes pegged as the second-largest private company in the world in 2010. The topic of the piece? The dangers of “crony capitalism,” the again-in-vogue term used by the right to assail the president’s efforts to subsidize anything that the right doesn’t like. (He wrote something similar last year; here’s Mother Jones’ excellent takedown of that one.)

Let’s see what the honorable Mr. Koch has to say today, shall we? Some selected excerpts.

Businesses have failed to make the case that government policy—not business greed—has caused many of our current problems. To understand the dreadful condition of our economy, look no further than mandates such as the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac “affordable housing” quotas, directives such as the Community Reinvestment Act, and the Federal Reserve’s artificial, below-market interest-rate policy.

Far too many businesses have been all too eager to lobby for maintaining and increasing subsidies and mandates paid by taxpayers and consumers. This growing partnership between business and government is a destructive force, undermining not just our economy and our political system, but the very foundations of our culture.

Charles Koch hates hates hates subsidies.

By subsidizing and mandating politically favored products in the energy sector (solar, wind and biofuels …), the government is pushing up energy prices for all of us — five times as much in the case of wind-generated electricity. And by putting resources to less-efficient use, cronyism actually kills jobs rather than creating them. …

The effects on government are equally distorting — and corrupting. Instead of protecting our liberty and property, government officials are determining where to send resources based on the political influence of their cronies. In the process, government gains even more power and the ranks of bureaucrats continue to swell.

Yes, Charles Koch hates subsidies — except the hundreds of millions of government dollars going to Koch Industries. (See ThinkProgress’ two-part report: “How Koch Industries Makes Billions By Demanding Bailouts And Taxpayer Subsidies” and “How Koch Industries Makes Billions Corrupting Government And Polluting For Free.”)

Only a horrible cynic would suggest that such generosity from our elected leaders is the result of Koch’s multi-million-dollar lobbying efforts. Yes, so far this year, Koch Industries has run up a $5.3 million tab on lobbying federal officials. (This year.) But that’s all about social issues, no doubt.

Nor is the company thrifty when it comes to campaign contributions. Here is a list of the members of Congress for whom his Koch Industries is listed as a “top contributor” by OpenSecrets — in other words, for whom Koch Industries is one of the top 20 campaign contributors.

There’s undoubtedly a good, non-cronyism reason that Koch Industries is so generous; we look forward to Charles’ essay on that.

And this doesn’t even include the Kochs’ contributions to the shadowy world of the super PACs. Last month, ProPublica determined that the Americans for Prosperity PAC, founded by Charles and his brother David, was one of two PACs that outspent all other PACs combined. (The other massive super PAC is Karl Rove’s.) At last reporting, AFP has spent over $30 million in opposition to President Obama.

Koch, in the Wall Street Journal, also preaches that businesses ought to “act lawfully and with integrity.” Which makes this anecdote from the Seattle Times pertinent:

In May 2008, a unit of Koch Industries sent its newly hired compliance officer and ethics manager to investigate the management of a subsidiary in France. In less than a week, she discovered that the company had paid bribes to win contracts. …

“Those activities constitute violations of criminal law,” Koch Industries wrote in a Dec. 8, 2008, letter giving details of its findings. The letter was made public in a civil court ruling in France in September 2010; the document has never before been reported by the media.

Egorova-Farines wasn’t rewarded for bringing the illicit payments to the company’s attention. Her superiors removed her from the inquiry in August 2008 and fired her in June 2009, calling her incompetent, even after Koch’s investigators substantiated her findings.

But perhaps the most telling line in Koch’s editorial is this one:

To end cronyism we must end government’s ability to dole out favors and rig the market. Far too many well-connected businesses are feeding at the federal trough.

Far too many, indeed. In Charles Koch’s estimation, there should be only one.