Embarrassing clown show Shell Oil is floating around the Arctic Ocean off the coast of Alaska, probably in poorly patched inner tubes while wearing those beer-can-straw hats. If you don't remember the full history of the company's sheer ineptitude in the area, it's here. It is perfectly fair to assume that it hired a bunch of interns, bought three rowboats and an augur, and gave Arctic drilling a shot.
Anyway, yesterday the company was granted yet another permit to poke around on the floor of the ocean near Alaska. Like a kid who's just coming off being grounded, it's on a short leash -- only allowed to drill into shallow areas and to work on a system to bury the blowout preventer beneath the ocean floor. Shell probably tried to talk back and got yelled at. It tried to get another permit, but that one was rejected because it can't properly operate the containment dome that is supposed to be used in the event of a spill. I think, anyway. I mean, I literally can't even keep track any more. This has been months of trying to track the bajillion errors and complaints and excuses Shell is laying out.
I also love that the argument in response to this from people like Sarah Palin would likely be, "There's too much regulation!" instead of "Thank fucking God that we have processes in place that keep companies with all of the dexterity of Cosmo Kramer from driving up to Alaska and creating conduits between pools of oil and polar bears' faces." More regulation on this shit, please.
But none of that is the point of this post. The point of this post is that Shell has finally figured out who to blame for the fact that it's terrible at the only thing it's supposed to be good at. Who's at fault? Greenpeace.