SOMEbody needs a manicure!

Dawn EllnerSOMEbody needs a manicure!

Forget stamp collecting: A Minnesota guy stockpiled almost 3,200 gopher feet in his freezer, ready to collect the $3-a-pair reward for killing the local pests this winter — which would’ve amounted to a tidy $4,794. But a local mother and son, 37-year-old Tina Marie Garrison and 18-year-old Junior Lee Dillon, stole the feet first:

The [gopher feet] owner contacted local townships that offer rewards for gophers to keep down their numbers and found Dillon had turned in $1,014 in feet in November. In December, Garrison turned in $3,780 in feet.

Can we just take a sec and think about HOW GROSS it would be to behead befoot 1,600 gophers? “Oh hi, Bob. Just let me put away my Barbie guillotine!”

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The pair was charged with felony receiving stolen property and theft, as well as gross misdemeanor receiving stolen property and theft. The mom pleaded not guilty; her son’s trial is July 29. The story gets better — the thieves were friends with the original gopher-killer:

When interviewed later in December, Dillon … said he knew about the missing feet because he was in the owners’ house frequently.

So keep your friends close and your gopher feet closer.

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