Northern Bobwhite

Northern Bobwhites. Photo courtesy of USFWS

Here’s a little bit of advice for Mister Bob White: when you’re a popular game bird in the eastern U.S. and Mexico, do not run around loudly calling your own name. Seriously. You’re acting like our crazy Aunt Ida.

Lucky for these small, chicken-like birds, they reproduce like bunnies. When weather and habitat are friendly to them, a single pair can produce two or more broods in a single season. Impressive. Unlucky for them, habitat is a lot less friendly than it used to be.

Profligate procreators that they are, and fairly resilient to normal hunting pressure, Bobwhites can, however, be wiped out entirely.

Time to ramp up an evolutionary mutation pronto, Bob. Learn to shut yer trap.